Stress-busting strategies – find the coping mechanism that works for YOU
*Trigger warning: this article discusses suicide and mental health disorders*
As a chronically stressed gal, I can not-so-proudly say I have searched high and low for the perfect coping mechanism for me. Though I still haven’t pinpointed one specific stress-buster, I do have a list of things I’ve tried – things I LOVE, things that are okay, and things that did not work for me.
Disclaimer: What works for me may or may not work for you. If you find one that you haven’t tried, it still might be worth trying.
Stress vs. anxiety vs. depression…
The symptoms that can be experienced with stress often overlap with symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other anxiety or mood disorders. That’s why it’s important to understand what stress really is in order to make the distinction between the three and be prepared to seek professional help should any of them negatively affect our daily lives.
Stress can typically be self-soothed or self-treated unlike anxiety disorder and depression, which can often be more serious.
Remember that if you live in the U.S., you can now (as of July 2022) call the 988 hotline 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week for mental health and suicide crisis support.
Additionally, if you visit 988hotline.org there are numerous resources and articles related to specific identities such as maternal mental health, LGBTQIA+, individuals with neurodivergence (like me), etc.
What is stress?
Stress, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is “a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation.” As the WHO team describes, stress is a natural mental and physical response to the situations in our lives that overwhelm us.
Some symptoms you might experience if you’re feeling stressed include (but aren’t limited to):
- Headaches
- Fatigue
- Sleep troubles
- Trouble focusing or staying motivated
- Irritability
- Anxiety (here’s the overlap)
- Overeating and/or undereating
- Avoiding socialization
What is anxiety?
Anxiety, as defined by the American Psychological Association (APA), is “an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts, and physical changes like increased blood pressure… Anxiety is considered a future-oriented, long-acting response broadly focused on a diffuse threat, whereas fear is an appropriate, present-oriented, and short-lived response to a clearly identifiable and specific threat.”
What is depression?
Depression, as defined by Mayo Clinic, is “a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest… You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if like isn’t worth living.”
As someone who experiences depression and who has received treatment for it, I would say it feels like being tied to your bed or your couch and being too exhausted to get up, to eat, to even go to the bathroom. It’s a huge loss of motivation, energy, and effort.
Because of that loss of energy and interest, one can start to feel sad or down about themselves. Mental health decline during a depressive episode can be really severe.
Again, if you experience this, remember that there are resources for you whether you can afford or access things like prescriptions or therapy. See the 988 hotline section for more information.
Coping mechanisms for stress… a list…
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Have a spa day/night
Go to your local Target, Walmart, Sephora, Ulta, anywhere you can get skincare essentials… and pick up your favorite face mask (mine is the BUBBLE skincare exfoliating mask – not sponsored). Curl up with your favorite blanket, let that face mask soak in, and read a book or watch tv. The time is yours to use to treat yourself to a spa-like experience.
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Sleep 7-10 hours per night
I’m not trying to sound like your doctor, but sleep is a huge component in your stress levels. If you struggle to sleep at night, consider doing breathing exercises, meditation, and/or yoga at night to calm you down. If you still struggle to sleep regardless of these efforts, maybe check with your doctor to get support for insomnia.
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Try to get some form of exercise in daily
When I say “some form,” I mean intense, get-your-heart-racing exercise (HIIT, weightlifting, running, etc.) 2-4 days per week, and not-so-intense exercise (walking, VR games, yoga, etc.) on those other days. Exercise will not only help your stress levels, but it will also benefit your sleep and many other mental and physical aspects of your life.
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Eat a balanced diet
The key word here is balanced. Try not to fall into the toxic ways of diet culture by cutting things out, opting out of eating for long periods of time, etc. Eat what you usually eat and try to incorporate more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and healthy fats in any way that you can. For example, if you’re craving a box of Mac & Cheese, make it with broccoli or another vegetable. Balance, balance, balance. Yes, it’s still okay to eat ice cream (in moderation).
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Lean on your support systems
Call up your loved ones and ask for support. I know it can be hard to ask for help, but all it takes is just one moment of courage! Spend time with your loved ones and make memories. If your body and mind are screaming that you need down time alone, take it. But also be willing to challenge yourself to go outside, get fresh air, chat with friends, and do other things that may be difficult when dealing with stress.
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Journal your thoughts & feelings
Although this method is not my preferred coping method, I know that it works for LOADS of folks. Grab any notebook or digital writing application and dump your thoughts onto the page. If it helps, I have a Pinterest board with tons of journaling pins that list out prompts and questions to answer when journaling. Utilize these if you need to. I challenge you, if you try this, to sit down for 10 minutes to an hour (set a timer) and write for that entire time. Don’t stop, don’t erase anything, just dump your brain on the page.
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Use a coloring book
I don’t care how old you are or how “cool” you think you might be. Coloring is (for most) a calming, fun activity to bring out your inner child. Go to your local Target, Walmart, craft store, or even a dollar store and pick up a coloring book. Doesn’t matter if it’s labeled “adult” or not. Actually, I enjoy the kids ones more because the designs are not as intricate, but I digress. Sit down with your favorite markers, crayons, pens, or paints and color. You choose whether to stay in the lines or say “idgaf.”
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Think positively (it actually works)
I know this sounds cliche, but thinking positively and focusing and positive self-talk is scientifically proven to improve your life. According to Mayo Clinic, “Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:
- Increased life span
- Lower rates of depression
- Lower levels of distress and pain
- Greater resistance to illnesses
- Better psychological and physical well-being
- Better cardiovascular health and reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease and stroke
- Reduced risk of death from cancer
- Reduced risk of death from respiratory conditions
- Reduced risk of death from infections
- Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress”
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Declutter your space
If you’ve been struggling to keep up with a chore chart, spend a day off cleaning. Even if it sucks in the moment, I promise you’ll feel better after you do it. Afterwards, I challenge you to hold yourself to the “if it takes less than five minutes, do it now” standard. That way, you’ll be able to keep your space decluttered! I am personally working on decluttering my space with this method so shoot me a dm on Instagram, a message on Pinterest, or an email if you’d like to be accountability buddies!
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Dance it out
This might seem silly, but our bodies are meant to release stress by bouncing around and dancing. Turn on your favorite nostalgic music, maybe grab a dance partner (could be your cat who will definitely scratch your eyes out for this), and dance your heart out like no one is lookin’!
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Use a planner/schedule builder
Especially if you’re neurodivergent like me, having a schedule can be super helpful (and also very hard to keep updated). If you have the time, sit down for five minutes every morning/night to write out an hour-by-hour schedule or to do list for the day. Buy stickers or use a fun pen to check off the items after you’ve completed them. Even if you have a lot to do, you can block out specific time to get it done. And give yourself grace. If you can’t get one or two… or seven… of the items done today, that’s okay. Celebrate and reward yourself for the ones that you do complete.
Stress is often a hard thing to cope with and there are so many ways to work through it, so finding the right one(s) for you is SO important. Try them all, a few of them, or none of them!