Life transitions – 5 tips to get through tough life changes

So… life is a hot mess right now. I think we’re probably all feeling that to a certain extent. Everything is expensive, the job market sucks, the housing market sucks… the government sucks (don’t tell them I said that).

In late July, 2023, my partner and I moved to a new city so that I could pursue graduate school. We moved to this new city because I also got a job as a graduate assistant in the field (student affairs/higher education) and I was provided free housing at a very lovely college apartment building as part of that job.

Well, right before my second semester began in late January, 2024, I decided that I no longer wanted to pursue graduate school. I was informed that if I were to drop out of the program this semester, I would lose my job and my housing within the month. So I dropped down to one class so I had the semester to find a new job and a new apartment.

I began searching – I would spend hours and hours a day digging through Indeed and Zillow… and the weight of my class, work, writing for Tess Weekly, and managing regular life in addition to those searches felt extremely overwhelming.

I had to do some research on how to handle high-stress life transitions so that I wouldn’t explode. And now I’m here to share my findings with you, so that you can be better equipped and prepared to handle those situations.

Prioritize | Self-Care | Positive Self-Talk | Discomfort | Life Upgrade

1. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize…

One of the most difficult things to do while going thorough life transitions is to see past the piles and piles of extra work added onto your already busy and stressful life. Try, if you can, to choose one or two things to focus on for a certain period of time and then switch.

For example, I was really stressed about trying to find a job and housing at the same time because my income was too low (with my graduate assistantship) to qualify for quality housing near us, but I was worried that if I focused on finding a job first, I wouldn’t find housing in time.

Thankfully, I was able to find a job before I found my housing because I focused on applying to and interviewing for them before I put too much effort into finding housing. That way, I had a bigger budget when moving in to an apartment and we were able to afford a higher-quality apartment.

Obviously, not everyone will have the same circumstances that I did with budget and things, but prioritize your tasks and changes as you’re able and do it in a way that works well for you.

2. Take care of yourself…

You know, based on my other posts, that I care a lot about mental health awareness, self-care, and self-love.

Though life transitions can be super stressful and overwhelming, try to take time to focus on taking care of yourself. Maybe take a mental health day, do your best to treat your body right by getting in some exercise and healthy foods, take a bath and light a stress-relieving candle (like my favorite from Bath & Body Works), and take. care. of. you.

If you start to feel yourself experiencing symptoms of severe anxiety, depression, etc., consider…

calling a therapist,
talking to a trusted friend or family member, or
calling the 988 hotline for crisis support.

Your mental health is exponentially more important to focus on when you’re going through tough life transitions and changes.

3. Talk nicely to yourself…

This one goes hand-in-hand with the last. According to Anna Womack at the Manhattan Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it is important to:

Check your self-talk. What types of things are you saying to yourself? Are these internal comments helping you cope with this transition or making the transition more challenging? One way to develop helpful self-talk is to recall transitions (or other difficult situations) you’ve successfully coped with before; they can be a reminder that you can manage this too!

It might be helpful to try utilizing affirmations throughout the day to manifest that kind self talk.

4. Be prepared for discomfort…

Obviously, every big life transition or change will come with discomfort of some kind. Maybe you’re moving to a new job and you have to train, meet new people, take on new tasks… Or maybe you chose to drop a friend or family member that was mistreating you and you’re trying to get used to living life without them.

Any life transition comes with some loss and some gain.

It is important to be prepared for that discomfort and embrace it when it comes. Discomfort and failure are two of the most icky feelings you can feel, yet they also result in some of the most growth we see in our lifetimes. So use that discomfort to your advantage.

Learn, grow, blossom, my friend.

5. Visualize your life transition as a life upgrade…

This goes back to talking nicely to yourself. Even if the change you’re experiencing isn’t necessarily good, you have the opportunity to change your mindset about it and see the good coming out of your situation.

Not every situation will have a positive side but… let’s say you lose your job or get fired. That’s an opportunity to find another job that you love (maybe even more than the last).

Do your very best to see the positive side of every outcome of your life. It’ll be a lot easier to talk nicely to yourself if you can convince yourself that your life is under your control (or the Universe, or God, whomever you’d like to be controlling it).